Encourage Yourself

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself....

Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test....

These are the first to lines of a beautiful song entitled Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawrence..

This is my testimony..This is my song.....Sometimes when I'm dealing with difficult people or situations..I have to constantly tell myself that everything is going to work out for me..That God has great things in store for me...It just has to work..God wouldn't have placed this obstacle in front of me if I wasn't prepared... But it's not easy...While I was preparing to write this blog entry I was searching the Internet for the complete lyrics to this song..and when I found them, the Holy Spirit began speaking, ministering, and restoring to my soul....I was immediately forced to go to a quiet place and praise God with my whole heart..

Sometimes when I'm going through some stuff I easily forget who placed me there..I have been looking to buy a house for the past couple of months..The first builder was not trustworthy when it came to finances..And the current builder has so issues with the construction of the home...Last night, I found myself asking God, why have you made this task so difficult, why can't I work with people that are honest, and desire to do their work well....

I began to feel sorry for myself, and I was starting to lose hope in being a homeowner...But that's when God, in all his wonder...stepped in, right at the appropriate moment, and ministered to my soul through song....There is a point in the song which simply says life is going to take you through some challenges, and difficulties...but you have to encourage yourself...Nothing is going to be prefect...

I thank God, that for every circumstance in my life, he has already provided grace, mercy, strength, and understanding...I thank God..that there is NO weapon formed against me that shall prosper...The great thing about God, is that He is Trustworthy, he is Faithful, he is Dependable....and more importantly...Everything that he has promised me is for me....

Glory to the Lord...That Victory is Mine...That His presence can meet you at the point of your need no matter where you are..Thank God, that his mercy is new every morning..And thank you, that he loves me enough to bring me to and through every situation...


The lyrics are below:

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself
Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test and no matter how you feel
Speak the word you will be healed
Speak over yourself
Encourage yourself in the lord
oooohhh oohh

Sometimes you have to speak the word over yourself
the pressure is all around but God is present help
oh the enemy created walls but remember giants they do fall
speak over your self
encourage your self in the lord
oh as I minister to you
oh I minister to myself
life can hurt you sooo till you feel there's nothing left

No matter how you feel speak the word and you will be healed
Speak over yourself

I'm Encourage(repeat 4)
I'm Encourage(Repeat till the end)

Changes...

OK...for the last month or so, I became a hindrance to my own goals...I began to counteract everything positive thing I knew that would guarantee my success...Why??? Why??? I don't know sometimes, I think I want something, but then when I start going for it, I give up...

I know some people may find it hard to believe but I have a commitment problem...I know it, I freely admit it..I can come up with great, and fancy plans, and time tables...But nothing gets done... I'm seriously thinking about seeking help...

There are things I love to do, and I do them without thinking twice..Church programs, conversations with those close to me, watching select television shows...But it's those other things like cleaning my room, and cooking dinner regularly that just fall by the wayside...I realize that the plans I set have to be driven by a goal, I can see...

For example, I recently picked up a second job, so that I really start saving to purchase my first home...While I don't really want to work another job, the goal of saving is sooo much bigger than ANYTHING I've ever envisioned, that if I don't succeed I will disappoint myself...AND that just can't happen... Another reason, and it may soundly purely vain, but know I can lose weight and afford to purchase new clothes...a 40% off discount will go along way when you plan to drop as much weight as I do!!!

SO know to my weight issue, I have been putting off exercising because it's hot, or whatever the excuse maybe...But on June 30Th, in less than 6 weeks, I have to purchase my first bridesmaid dress. I refuse to look uncomfortable or stuffed in a dress, especially in a wedding for two people I care a lot for...On Saturday, I worked out for 2 hours in the pool...Walking back and forth, kicking, doing crunches, and arm lifts...On Sunday, I hand washed my car...and let me just tell you, that is more than a notion...

I'm on my way, I brought my lunch to work today for the first time in a long time!!! I'm drinking water like a fish, don't give up on me...I'm coming back around, and hopefully this time for good!!!

Time and Commitment

FOLKS, I HAVE A PROBLEM...

What's the problem???? I HAVE TOOOO MUCH ON MY MIND...and not enough TIME... Seriously, I'm a GREAT point in my life..In my walk with GOD, I'm growing and developing into a better disciple, and witness for Christ.. My FAMILY is doing fine, mostly healthy, happy, and secure. My relationship with JOHN is better than I can ask for... My FRIENDS are prospering wonderfully, and giving God all the praise... My CAREER is finally heading in a direction where I can finally see a plan for the future...

SO, what's wrong...Well, it's like this....When I finished grad school in December, I just knew that I would have so much extra time, to take care of myself...I knew that I would have the Lap Band surgery, so that would motivate me to lose weight, to exercise, and eat well...I just knew that I would have the time to focus on my health, because without it I won't be able to do any of the things I have in mind for the future.....When I had my surgery in Feb., I set goals for myself..( Look at the previous entries entitled, "Thoughts and Goals") So what happened??? Life happened...The free time I thought I would have, I threw all that extra energy into my job, and church, and I have been blessed abundantly in both areas. Honestly, there's not a need in my life right now that isn't being met.

But the problem is with work going so GREAT, when I get home, I don't feel like cooking, I don't feel like packing my lunch, I don't feel like cleaning, and I for sure don't feel like exercising...

How do I break myself of this ugly habit??? How do I take control of time, and get back on track of losing weight???

I hope figured it out, I have to have a plan.. A schedule of daily activities that allow me time to complete little tasks so that things don't build up. I determined that when I get home from work, I need 4 HOURS OF ASHLEY TIME....Just do it, ME Time...I can't further allow the pressures, and the worries of this world to rule over me, I have to take control of the situations that I can control...

So from today on....

From 6-7pm- Exercise and Shower
From 7:00-7:30pm- Clean my house
From 7:30-9pm- Cook dinner, make my lunch, eat, relax
From 9-10pm- Have my Quiet Time w/God

May God bless this schedule, and make it whole and complete. May God grant me strength to do the things I can, and the peace to understand the things that I can't.

Where did the time fly???

I have been a bad blogger....I have neglected to tell any information, good or bad..

It's interesting when you've been away for so long, there's so much I want to say, but I don't know how to start. The last two weeks have been mind blowing.

The most memorable moments, were extremely unforgettable. It's not too many moments that I can say, I remember when....or I will never forget where I was. The last two weeks have offered two. The first being the Virginia Tech shooting, I am still numb and truly at a loss of words. I can't imagine being a student, attempting to better prepare yourself for the future, having so many hopes and dreams, and then those dreams being cut short. I can't imagine the pain of a parent, whose lost a child in such a violent manner.

The second happened Friday, at my job. On Friday, a gunman entered one of the buildings on site, and shot and killed his boss, and then turned the gun on himself. It's interesting, you couldn't watch the news the past couple of days without hearing about the VT tragedy, but you never think it could happen to you. For some reason, I thought I was so removed from the possibility that someone could do that here, on a federal, and assumed heavily secured work site, but it happened. During a conversation with my Best Friend on Thurs. I told her that I was playing musical doors at work. Every place I went was determined by whether there was a locked door around. As a Christian, I believe that I shouldn't walk in fear, but in faith. But the Virginia Tech tragedy, touched my soul. For some reason, I felt I knew those students, I could have sat in those classes.

Nothing I had prepared in my mind, prepared me for Friday, April 20Th. When the word finally got around that there was a gunman on the premises here, for whatever reason, I couldn't stop laughing, it wasn't that I thought any of it was funny. It was just something I couldn't control. The fact that my phone wouldn't stop ringing, the fact that my building was in lock down..the fact that what was on the news, was where I was....The only thing that made sense at that point was to laugh, because this could not be happening...

After about a hour and a half, we received word, that the incident was isolated in an building about a block from mine, and we were released to go home... We were warned, to not go near the building...As I promptly walked to my car, I can't describe the feeling that went through my body as helicopters hovered overhead, I can't describe my pleas for people to drive and not to obey that stop sign...I just wanted to GO..

When I finally got home, and found out that the situation had ended with two people dead, I couldn't believe that loss of life had happened so close to me. I think my life changed on Friday...we have to be careful how we treat people, how we act toward people.... But most importantly I learned the importance of having a life outside of work. I understand that my job pays my bills, I'm not in denial about that...my family and friends are what's important...

What I've noticed...

This band thing is SO working!!!! I'm so grateful that I had Lap Band Surgery. I'm not just saying that because everything has been perfect, because it hasn't. But I mean, I'm just SO happy. I noticed the strangest thing today while I was racing across the parking lot to my car...I wasn't out of breath!!! I had to test this theory, on my way to my doctor's office this afternoon, I decided to time how long it would take me to walk to my car. I took off walking, trying to see just how fast I could go!!! Next thing I know, a crazy thought crossed my mind, see if you could run..And I'll be dang on, if my feet didn't pick themselves up, and start running. I'm not saying it was a running like for a marathon, but, there was definitely some jogging going on!!!! I had to congratulate my feet, because surely, I didn't believe it could be done!!!

This weekend we had a cookout!!! With chicken, and steak, and hot dogs... For as long as I can remember, I've had a strange obsession about grilled hot dogs/hot links (for my Chicago people!!!), to the point that I don't think a cookout is a cookout without them. I remember growing up, and my mother and I would eat hot dog, just because..There didn't need to be a special occasion, just needed to be hungry!!! Well, at this cookout, I was able to eat a couple of chicken and grilled vegetable sh-Kai-bobs, ( I know that's spelled completely wrong, but you know what I mean!!!) , a ear of grilled corn of the cob ( Laura did the fool with the sweet corn), a grilled hot dog, and a small piece of steak. I know, I know, sounds like a lot of food. But I really wasn't, I made sure I chewed my food really well. I took my time, and when I was done eating, whatever food was left on my plate, went to John...(Again, I know...I have to stop treating him like my human disposal..)

But I was able to eat, I was able to feel like a normal person..Although with limitations, I was able to eat.

This weekend..

I had an absolutely wonderful weekend!!!! Every once in a well, you will have those weekends where time just fly by, and you find yourself back at work on Monday going, what happened to my free time. Normally, that's how I find myself...

Well, this weekend, was absolutely off the chain!!

Friday, was Good Friday. In remembering the best sacrifice that could ever be given for man, that Jesus died for our sins, I went to noon service at our church. It was amazing to hear the story told with such power, and clarity.

That evening, several of my girlfriends had a girls night out. No boyfriends, finance's, or husbands... A couple months ago we started attending plays, and found it to be very entertaining. On Friday, we saw Tyler Perry's latest play, "What's done in the dark.." The play had a very touching and informative message about going to the doctor, and taking better care of ourselves. Following the play, a couple of us went out to dinner, to one of our favorite places, Chili!!!!!. Lord knows, it's in those moments of reflection that you remember how blessed you are to have such dear friends. Sometimes people claim that women can be catty, and mean..But my female friends, have been some of the most encouraging, and supportive people that I've ever met. It's true when people say, when you find good people hold on to them...and that's what I've done.

On Saturday, another one of my friends, Laura, was in town visiting. Even though the weather was ugly, John and I really wanted to hang out with her, and our other friend Donald. We found this interesting place in the mall, where you find a piece of pottery, and then you use your creative side to paint the object. It was SO fun, and funny... When we got there both John and Donald, were totally against this "girl" activity. But after some convincing, they decided to try. John picked a Hummer, I picked a dog!!! About two hours later, everyone else was finished painting but John!!! He was determined that the Hummer looked as real as possible, and refused to leave before his creative vision was complete...Again it took some convincing, but he soon let it go, so that we could leave!!!! I must admit it turned out great!!! But don't tell him, I said that!!

I hope to post pictures from Friday night, and Saturday!!!!!

Good News...Bad News........

Good news…

I weighed myself this morning….and the scale said 269.2!!!!! If that's accurate, that would mean I've lost 9 pounds in 3 weeks!!!!! Meaning my total weight loss since surgery is 18 pounds. And total weight loss since January is 28 pounds!!!!! How Awesome!!!! Isn't God Great!!!!! I've noticed that my clothes are really starting to fit well!! In fact, I've received several compliments from co-workers. I never really noticed how good dressing up can make you feel. With the exception of today, I've been wearing heels everyday this week!!! In fact, on Tuesday, I wore a suit, making people think I was going to an interview!!! I'm so excited for the spring and summer. I've always like wearing bright colors, and sandals, but the prospect of being able to wear clothes in a small size, just makes me giddy!!!

Bad News…

I started my period this morning, I want to crawl into a ball. I feel nausea, so I'm afraid to eat anything. I didn't want to come in to work today, but I knew that two key people were out of the office today..and we can't have the office three people down…

Talk about sacrifice!!! Does this mean, I'm being mature???

I don't know what's going on. I've never had bad cramps before, just a uncomfortable couple of days.. But this mess today, this is for the birds. My whole body just aches, I keep unbuttoning my jeans in hope of some relief. Oh, God...Please provide comfort. I want to make it through the rest of the day..

Also, since January I've been wearing my hair in braids. It's much easier to manage, I can exercise without fear of what my hair will look like later. It's a great joy just getting up in the morning, and not having to touch my hair. Saturday, I went and had my braids redone. After 6 hours of sitting in a chair, my hair was beautifully redone.

Well, last night, I'm sitting on my bed running my fingers through my hair, getting ready to oil my scalp, when I notice how loose several of the braids are in the back, and that several of the braids were missing. I will not tell you how much it costs to put these braids in my hair, but I will tell you that I was HOT. When I called the Braid place this morning, the lady gave me attitude, like I did something wrong to her.. SHE acted funny when I said I would be coming in today to get the back of my head re-done. She just keep saying you got it done Saturday…Yeah, lady, I said Saturday...

So pray for me that I don't lose my mind on sister-girl, when I go to get my hair done this evening. I don't need any problems.